As women, every day we are faced with small and large challenges, which is why even in the absence of serious problems we set out to “unravel these skeins”; sometimes, however, these attempts at resolution can complicate our life rather than improve it.
For this reason, I decided to select these simple tips, taking a cue from the work I do in my studio every day, in particular with women, often stressed both by the demands that the environment makes them, and by the rhythms and standards that they self- impose.
No to “multitasking“
As a first strategy, I recommend that you do one thing at a time if possible, the multitasking in which we women excel is very stressful, neuroscience tells us that precisely the operation of dividing attention requires a great deal of waste of energy.
Furthermore, by dividing it, it is more superficial on every single task and this can lead us to have to repeat it, thus we also lose the benefit of saving time.
From an educational point of view, children learn more from our example than from what we say; for this reason, if they see us always intent on doing several things at the same time, they can learn this method, which has the side effect of rowing against the creation of prolonged attention spans.
Try at least for a few hours a day to commit yourself to this, you will immediately feel the benefits, you will feel more aware of what you are doing, you will be more centered in the present.
Then who knows, maybe you will decide to make it a lifestyle.
No to complaints
It is common opinion that if there is something wrong it is good to talk about it as much as possible to let off steam, in reality if done beyond measure it can prove to be counterproductive especially if the basic feeling that animates us is fear, anger or pain.
There and then it may seem to feel more relieved, but when these feelings come back, indeed, it could also happen that I make that first illusory relief enough for me to do nothing concrete to really change the situation.
Even the reaction of others to my words can actually worsen my mood, such as when I am very angry and the other person minimizes my feeling, making me even more angry. Or when a person acknowledges my reasons, I might feel legitimated to be angrier than before!
Furthermore, while I am talking about a painful thing, maybe the interlocutor would have talked to me about something else, distracting me, or maybe making me laugh!
Doing too much for others
There is a much higher risk than simple stress if we dedicate ourselves too much to others. The risk is to increase our relational insecurity, in fact I will always be left with the doubt that others care me not for who I am, but for what I do. Learning to delegate and dedicate ourselves to ourselves are the antidotes.
In couples, if there is an imbalance in “giving”, this can create problems, the other can take our attention for granted, those who are more generous can begin to feel a grudge, and so on.
Let’s remember what Erich Fromm used to say: “The main task in everyone’s life is to give birth to himself”.